It's Finally Fall, Reader!

I've gotten a pumpkin beverage from Dutch Bros (obviously, if you've read the Ampersand Trilogy), Biggby (soooo good), Starbucks (just cuz it's the OG), and my own house where we buy the Jose's Pumpkin Spice roast and then I bought my own jug of pumpkin sauce. It's slightly better than all the others because it comes with complimentary dog fur. 🎃

If you're new here, welcome! I'm Noelle, AKA E. N. Crane and Noelle Rider, and I write books for animal lovers with a wicked sense of humor. My main characters are plus-sized, coffee addicted, and frankly just tired of your shit. (Not you specifically, but you know what I mean and if you don't... sorry.)

I'm a plus-sized, neuro-divergent dog mom, city government employee, wife, reader, and step-ladder substitute for short people who need help. I love coffee, Peeps, cheese, and crushing fragile male egos into dust. Most of my updates are general and this email is just to let you know that I didn't die! But it was close!

Breaking News: I Spoke in Public and Book Fair!

September 23rd and 24th was the Women and Leadership Conference at BSU. I submitted a proposal to teach others about the legal process of starting a business since I made SO MANY mistakes in starting this one. I wasn't sure anyone would come to the section, there were three others to choose from, but I made some slides and some downloadables, and hoped for the best.

I don't do well with silence when other humans are present, so I had music queued for when people came in, my little retractable sign all set up, and... I waited. People trickled in, the room ended with maybe a dozen people inside, half my coworkers from the city just there to support me, and I started. On my third slide, someone walked out. Two women talked the whole time, two others gave me "we know more than you" face the whole time, and I felt soooo dumb.

But... I did the scary thing and I tried to provide assistance and information to help my community of small business women. I'm sure when I get the evals back it'll be bad, and I'll be crushed, but I'm proud-ish of myself for trying.

ALSO!!!

Tomorrow is the Fall into Fiction Book Fair at the Caldwell, Idaho Train Depot and I will be there with ALL THE BOOKS for those who are interested and local. It's hosted by one of our Indie book shops, Shared Stories, and should be a really cool event. Please come out if you can!

Personally...

I did a 10K, and have been regularly swimming, and everything hurts. We also went camping and were terrorized by mule deer and asshole chipmunks who would NOT STOP CHITTERING. At one point they sounded like squeaky toys. For the 10K, I wore an "I'd Rather Be Reading Shirt" and made sure to stop for a pic with my favorite building downtown that was where me and my shirt really belong.

I've been struggling a lot with pain, people, motivation, and life. I wrote a poem this morning, an attempt to process all the noise in my head. I'm going to share it, but you don't need to read it.

Used to…

I used to be a runner,

Lost in the miles, listening to audiobooks,

I could go anywhere, my feet eating up the ground.

Until they stopped supporting me.

I used to believe in magic,

That possibilities and potential existed all around us.

Everything had the capacity to change into something beautiful.

Until fear and hate ripped it apart.

I used to believe in myself.

My books were stories that would resonate with people,

Bring them together and show a reflection of themselves they hid.

Until the silence left me standing alone.

Pain, despair, and hate are all that remain,

The weights pulling me down, dragging me under.

Friends and family reach for me, but there is too much that I’ve lost.

Too much that I used to be.

They say that I can again.

That everything is possible, if I just try.

So I dig deeper, fight harder, to go back and find that old power.

Until I can’t remember what I used to feel like.

What I used to be haunts who I am.

And I cannot let go of the hope I may find her again.

But perhaps the greater strength would be in letting go.

No longer what I used to, the new to be will follow.

Padfoots Pals / Periodicals

Thank you for the pet pics I've received! They are truly appreciated. I love seeing puppers, buns, kittle cats, lizards, birdies and everything in between. Please share yours so we can spread the animal loving joy!

A. O. Neal shared Maxy and Belle