It's Release Day! I'm nervous, excited and a little nauseous. But that might be because I'm spending the day being both of my personalities at Barnes and Noble hopefully signing books. There was an Instagram post and everything. Can't wait to hear what everyone thinks! Anxiety is high... If you haven't grabbed a copy yet, ebooks are available on my site and Amazon for $2.99 (going up in a couple days), paperbacks on Amazon and my website after the Barnes and Noble signing. Shop Sharp...
12 days ago • 1 min read
Happy July, Reader! I'm not a fan of summer, heat, the sun, global warming, temperatures over seventy, and fire season. So if you feel the same, sorry for the Happy. Maybe just... July, huh? Can you believe they keep happening? Can you believe any of this happening? If you're new here, welcome! I'm Noelle, AKA E. N. Crane and Noelle Rider, and I write books for animal lovers with a wicked sense of humor. My main characters are plus-sized, coffee addicted, and frankly just tired of your shit....
about 1 month ago • 4 min read
Howdy, Reader! Two weeks in a row! This is weird, I don't know how I feel about sending two newsletters like this. But I have news to share so... might as well? I don't see any new sign-ups so let's just skip the intros and do it! Breaking News: I have Pre-Order Powers Again! Just last week, I was sitting there with my book covers and categories all ready to go and thinking, "I wish Amazon would give me my pre-order powers back" so I chatted them and THEY DID! One whole month early. Then I...
3 months ago • 2 min read
Do you get earworms, Reader? Not like actual worms, but a word or a phrase triggers a song and then suddenly it's in your head forever and ever... or until Taylor Swift releases a new album? May first is May Day, which is about protesting and speaking out against injustices, but there is also a song called Mayday by my favorite band, Three Days Grace, that's been on repeat up in here since. Also, also, "It's Gonna be May" from the N'Sync meme / mis-lyric. All of this to say, HI! Sorry if you...
3 months ago • 4 min read
Happy March, Reader! I'm going to try to keep this one short and sweet because... well... one, I'm supposed to be getting ready for work and two, I'm also supposed to be eating food and getting more coffee. I'm attempting this after only one cup of coffee so if you get lost or find errors, well, you know there is a legal limit to function on caffeine and I am below it. Wish me luck! First: New colors and fonts! I went to a publishing summit and one of the things they suggested was consistent...
5 months ago • 1 min read
How's it going, Reader? I don't think there's anyone new here... the program I use to send these says no one new has joined in the past 30 days which means we are going to skip the intros and the blah blahs and get right to the pupdates and gossip! The Ampersand Trilogy redesign and reformat for all eBooks and Paperbacks is complete. It took 6 hours of my Sunday, but by golly... they are all live and updated on the Amazon. eBook updates for Without Regret on my website are still pending and I...
6 months ago • 8 min read
Are you ready for a flood of books, Reader? Because December 24th is the Finnish Christmas Book Flood tradition and I am once again celebrating by doing Buy 1, Get 2 Free on all eBooks on Perry Dog Publishing and free shipping on paperbacks! Just use code JBFLD24 at checkout for 66% off 2 or more eBooks and BKSHP24 for free paperback shipping! Including three "disfigured" un-updated copies of Witching and Scheming which come with an eBook for actual reading, available as Disfigured Paperback...
8 months ago • 4 min read
Happy American Thanksgiving, Reader! Gobble, gobble, my brain is struggling to hobble. This month started off with hope, crashed and burned and now... here we are. Preparing for a day of gluttony and then a month of mass consumerism. I've recently struggled with Thanksgiving since it feels kind of like celebrating the slaughter of Native Americans with the insurgence of British imperialists. Even if that's not what it's about anymore, it is how it began. Yet another American tradition and...
8 months ago • 5 min read
Do you love the fall, Reader? Howdy readers new and old! Grab your pumpkin spice coffee, snap some pics of your pets to email me and settle in for some nonsense! I love the autumn and I tend to get extra verbose this time of year. I've been really missing seeing your pets so please send me pictures! Thank you for joining this newsletter, however you found it! You can unsubscribe any time you like! Most of you got on this list downloading the Prequel to the Sharp Investigations series OR my...
10 months ago • 5 min read
Happy Taco Tuesday, Reader! Howdy readers new and old! Thank you for joining this newsletter, however you found it! You can unsubscribe any time you like! Most of you got on this list downloading the Prequel to the Sharp Investigations series OR my newest readers from downloading Without Intention. But if you haven't received A Bite in Afghanistan yet, hit reply and let me know. I'll send you your own special link (or you can download it for free on Amazon if you live in 'merica... and yes, I...
11 months ago • 4 min read