Happy July, Reader!

I'm not a fan of summer, heat, the sun, global warming, temperatures over seventy, and fire season. So if you feel the same, sorry for the Happy. Maybe just... July, huh? Can you believe they keep happening? Can you believe any of this happening?

If you're new here, welcome! I'm Noelle, AKA E. N. Crane and Noelle Rider, and I write books for animal lovers with a wicked sense of humor. My main characters are plus-sized, coffee addicted, and frankly just tired of your shit. (Not you specifically, but you know what I mean and if you don't... sorry.)

I'm a plus-sized, neuro-divergent dog mom, city government employee, wife, reader, and step-ladder substitute for short people who need help. I love coffee, Peeps, cheese, and crushing fragile male egos into dust.

I have for you some E. N. Crane Updates, Noelle Rider Updates, and Me Updates, so stick around or skip around. The choice is yours.

E. N. Crane News: ARCs and Kicking Holly Jolly Killers!

ARCs will be delivered today via Book Funnel! II scheduled them to be sent but I don't remember at what time so it might be before or after this email... keep an eye out if you requested one! Hard copies should be in my hand by July 18th, in time for my Barnes and Noble signing! I don't want to put up preorders on my site, but if you'd like to claim one of the ten I ordered, email me, and I'll set one aside for you. Once I confirm they are not poorly printed, I can send you an order link!

Now that Jumping Judiciary Corruption is uploaded and ready for delivery, it's time for Kicking Holly Jolly Killers! Preorder should be live on Amazon today, and the description is a little scant until people start reading Jumping, but here's a little extra... just for you.

Santa Claus isn't coming to Sweet Pea this year, because he might be dead. Cindy Lou Kirby has asked Cyn, Winnie and Ruger to find Santa and help him or if he's dead, find a new one because she's been reasonably good this year and deserves presents.

When an armed robbery at the NFCU branch where Griffin works goes wrong, he'll need to somewhere to stay until he can get back on his... lets go with feet. Now Cyn has to find Santa, save Christmas, and learn how to live with another person... one who's not used to being sidelined and makes her really regret the injury to his... feet.

Noelle Rider News: ARCs and Book 3 in Huckleberry Hollow

Two Corks in a Curse ARCs will be hitting people's email boxes today as well! I don't know what time for those either, might be before or after this... but keep an eye out! My editor said it's technically a Fantasy Romance and romance is not even the main point anymore... she's actually right, but it's still a really big point. Emphasis on big. Wink wink. There's so much magic, heart, mystery and... well violence, in this one. And I honestly love it. I think I know why the first one didn't land with many people, but I really hope if you were on the fence about Witching and Scheming, you'll give Two Corks in a Curse a try.

I also got Vellum to make special release edition of full color paperback (with colorful edge!) paperbacks for this series! Fingers crossed I have them by July 26th because otherwise the Noelle Rider table is going to be lame. There are also going to be hardcovers and I'm pretty excited.

The next project for this series will be Lucy's story and it will be the last book in Huckleberry Hollow. The series hasn't been well received, but I need to finish it. Lucy's story has to to with a bagpiper in the woods trapped between realms and time. It doesn't yet have a title, timeline or a release date.

Up next for both Noelle and E. N. will be Blood Widow - A reverse harem revenge thriller.

I've been talking about this one for a long time, but the time has come to kill everyone. The only way to fix what's wrong, is to root out the cancer from the system-and burn it to the ground.

Personally...

It's hot, I'm in pain, and allergies are the worst. Hate is everywhere and it's making it harder and harder to get out of bed. So here are some petty joy highlights.

1. A man who regularly promotes racist, homophobic, and secular content, tried to host Hetero Awesome Festival. A few dozen people attended the multi-day event and he is now 80K in the hole. I love when bad things happen to bad people.
2. The City of Boise needed people for the Fourth of July parade and my husband and I participated as employees. Our banner had an image of the State of Idaho as a pride flag and we played Abracadabra by Lady Gaga.
3. I started going to the gym again, weight training and swimming to help with pain but also rebuild my muscles for fighting racists and Nazis.
4. Perry and Padfoot wouldn't let a guy being an asshole at the park pet them and while they don't really let strangers pet them in general, I was particularly proud of them for this one.

In actual good news, I made my business a Funko Pop toy, completely with mini Perry and Padfoot. She's holding a book and coffee cup as well, cuz... well... obvs. I'll also be presenting on how to start a business at the Women and Leadership Conference at Boise State University in September, so that's kind of cool.

Send us some pet pics because everything is a dumpster fire and we haven't any in a while.

Love,

Noelle, Perry & Padfoot