How's it going, Reader?

Howdy readers new and old! My name is Noelle, and I'm an author... We're going to try something a little different in this newsletter so hold onto your expectations!

Thank you for joining this group, however you found it! You can unsubscribe any time you like! Most of you got on this list downloading the Prequel to the Sharp Investigations series but if you haven't received A Bite in Afghanistan yet, hit reply and let me know. I'll send you your own special link (or you can download it for free on Amazon if you live in 'merica)!

All my books are centered around the bond between women and their dog. The women are plus-sized, caffeine addicted and usually awkward in social situations... which also describes me, so welcome to feeling constantly uncomfortable in your own skin. My humor is a combo of gallows and childish "that's what she said" with a sprinkling of science and healthy dose of sass. Interested in Mystery- Get started with Book 1, Barking for Business or pick up where you last left off in the series!

In love with Thrillers that have questionable plot structures? Ampersand Trilogy is in KU! Should it come down? Probably. Will it? Unlikely. Though like the proverbial first pancake throw away, it is not the cleanest work, it holds an everlasting place in my heart as a reminder that even in the darkest depressions, you can still do something extraordinary.

Not sure what's going on yet? Neither am I! But this newsletter will show up periodically with pet pics, updates on my books, my life and super fun facts from Chief Communications Officer, Padfoot! If you don't want to hear about one of my personalities, skip to the section you care about or scroll down to see it all!

E. N. Crane News!

It's been awhile since E. N. Crane has had much to share. I did a book signing at a local book shop down in Kuna, ID a few weeks ago and brought all my dog books for people to browse. It was only for a couple hours, but I got to meet a couple of readers and support a local book shop, so all in all, it was a fun day.

I thought I joined a promo to offer you all free books but I just checked the link and it doesn't look right. Instead of sharing it, I thought I'd let you in on a cool / weird trick you may not know: Amazon ALWAYS has free books. Not just A Bite in Afghanistan. If you click on my free book and scroll down to the categories it's ranked in and click on one, you'll see the paid top 100 list for the category and the free one!

If you're thinking "I can't find it, you're crazy!" It's because it doesn't exist on mobile. You have to do it from a computer browser. Sneaky right? Amazon is rude like that. But hopefully now you can find free books in all the areas you love and forgive me for not having any to offer you.

For my Cyn and Winnie Readers - Itching Against Ignorance is LIVE for preorder! It uses my new Planning and Development Services knowledge and some of my old Substitute Teacher knowledge and A LOT of my disenfranchised millennial personality. Also... COVER!

Noelle Rider News!

It's RELEASE WEEK! Grim, Penelope and Artemis are ready to share their story with you in Witching and Scheming! It has spice, humor, emotional trauma, magic, scathing condemnations of Grand Old Institutions. JIC you want to know what it's about:

Death was the only card drawn on the day Penelope was born....

If Penelope Ophelia Odenberry could make a list of all the things she hated it would include: Sunshine, running out of coffee, her initials spell Poo, bullies, skinny culture, zealots of any kind, people in denial about being zealots, student loan debt, when her dad wears his kilt in a wind storm, having to move home to the bassackwards town of Huckleberry Hollow, Idaho where despite the array of magic and creatures living there, only the old white witch men make decisions... the list goes on.

A much shorter list would be the things she loved... which is basically just coffee, dogs, cloudy days and her unfortunately sunshine-y best friend but he can't remember-Artemis Nita-Nusi, the half-bear, half-demon shifter.

Now that they're both back in Huckleberry Hollow, nothing is quite as it seems. Between the sketchy Council and the even sketchier Alpha, Artie’s dad, they don’t know who to trust... which might include each other. Now that Artie knows about Penny's memory spell, her attempt to protect him from her fate, he's glued himself to her side in a fake dating plot to break the spell, trick the Council and see Penny without any clothes.

Can a bumpy past and a sketchy future lead to a HEA, or will this newfound lust burn them up before fake dating can become real love?

Plus, I went to a Women in Publishing Summit and saw a presentation about Atticus - this book formatting program that lets you make stuff cool and the interior of the paperback has SOOO many fun things.

The eBook has fewer fun things, but it's still so much cooler than any eBook I've made before. My absolute favorite thing about this project is this image I commissioned of Grim, Penelope's canine familiar who's based on.... PADFOOT! Check out more of her work on Instagram @spooki_sheets

I'm so anxious and a little nauseous but I hope you'll check out! I'm also giving away 100 copies on Goodreads beginning Friday! So make sure you head over there to add it to your "Want to Read" list to join!

There's also going to be a massive giveaway on Instagram hosted by Fat Girls in Fiction with a plethora of romance novels that are paranormal and monster themed. It starts today! So go to Perry Dog Publishing on there!

Personally...

As mentioned above, I'm an anxious and nervous wreck about this book release. I feel like everyone is going to hate it or be mad that it's not a humorous mystery even though it's under a different name... I'm also terrified all of you will unsubscribe if you read it and never send me another pet picture again ever.

So... yeah. Doing great.

Padfoots Periodicals / Pals

HuMoms went to a summit and learned all about publishing and authoring and met loads of cool people! But, my personal favorite thing she's doing is the LA Big 5K as part of da LA Marathon weekends to supportz my peeplz!!! She's had super fluffed up feet and lungs and gainz weight to become over 300lbs so itz gon be hard for her, but pleaz cheers her on! and if you wantz to support doggos like me, you can donates to Westside German Shepherd rescue - where I comez from!

Lub, Da Padfoot (& CEO Perry)

Karen shared her furry nephew Tucker!!