Do you love the fall, Reader?

Howdy readers new and old! Grab your pumpkin spice coffee, snap some pics of your pets to email me and settle in for some nonsense! I love the autumn and I tend to get extra verbose this time of year. I've been really missing seeing your pets so please send me pictures!

Thank you for joining this newsletter, however you found it! You can unsubscribe any time you like! Most of you got on this list downloading the Prequel to the Sharp Investigations series OR my newest readers from downloading Without Intention. But if you haven't received A Bite in Afghanistan yet, hit reply and let me know. I'll send you your own special link (or you can download it for free on Amazon in SOME countries... or at least you could as of a few hours ago. It took a lot of messaging to get us there... I hate the 'zon).

My name is Noelle, and I'm an author... (Hearing people say 'Hi Noelle' like we're in an AA meeting in my head after I say that so please feel free to participate in your own home). I prefer to write in first person. My one book written in third person (Pumpkin Spice) is.... not good. But people keep reading it so... Sorry to you all! Unless you like it.

I write as E. N. Crane and Noelle Rider. All my books are centered around the bond between women and their dog. The women are plus-sized, caffeine addicted and usually awkward in social situations... which also describes me, so welcome to feeling constantly uncomfortable in your own skin. My humor is a combo of gallows and childish "that's what she said" with a sprinkling of science and healthy dose of sass. Interested in Mystery- Get started with Book 1, Barking for Business or pick up where you last left off in the series!

In love with Thrillers that have questionable plot structures? Ampersand Trilogy is in KU! Should it come down? Probably. Will it? Unlikely. Though like the proverbial first pancake throw away, it is not the cleanest work, it holds an everlasting place in my heart as a reminder that even in the darkest depressions, you can still do something extraordinary. Many of you already have the first book in the trilogy, but if you haven't started yet, I have to warn you: they are not meant to stand alone. I thought I wrote them that way, but no.

Huge fan of romance with magical elements? Witching and Scheming is re-written and beautiful! If you passed the first time, I hope you'll give it another chance and it will be 99 cents on Amazon and Amazon UK (but in .99 lbs) on the 21st! (I'm pretty sure... I need to double check the dates). You'll probably get another email that day with a reminder if I remember (so... maybe don't count on me). It won't let me do promotional pricing in all marketplaces without causing a scene because it's in KU so I'm sorry to those who cannot participate outside the US and UK. If you really want to, hit reply and I'll create you a special sale link through my website. I can't post it there while it's in KU either. 😒Have I mentioned I hate the 'zon?

Not sure what's going on yet? Neither am I! But this newsletter will show up periodically with pet pics, updates on my books, my life and super fun facts from Chief Communications Officer, Padfoot!

Breaking News: I Still Need Help Naming "J"!

A few months ago, longer now than it seems, like a storybook you may have seen in your dreams...

Just kidding, I'm not Tim Burton. But, I did put out a call awhile back for help naming the next Cyn Sharp book "Jumping". I got a few suggestions, but I need more! We got a few votes of Jumping for Justice, but since we used "for" as an adverb in Barking for Business, I thought we could be more creative! If you submitted choices, you can submit more! Jumping Junkyard Justices is mine and it sounds like original Adam West "Batman and Robin" dialogue. Which could work, but I think you can all put me to shame.

Book # 2 in Huckleberry Hollow, Two Corks in a Curse, will be up for Pre-order as soon as her cover is ready to go! I've seen the line art and I'm so excited! I need to watch some Irish sitcoms to get Draigus's voice right, but once I do... It should be awesome. Tempranillo "Tempe" Verdejo is ready kick ass, crush grapes, and have a winery cat.

That's right, one of my characters is going to have a CAT! His name is Corky and he keeps the mice out of the wine cave and might have a hidden talent or two. So stay tuned.

Personally...

We bought our first house! It feels fake and like another rental. But it's not, it's ours! And I already hate our kitchen 😂🤣😂🤣 You can't open the fridge door without hitting the oven and I've tripped twice. My parents came out to see Breaking Benjamin, Daughtry and Staind, then stayed a few days to help us meet with electricians and get some of the early stage things done.

Fun Fact: My dad paints like a pro and I paint walls like a land lord special. It would be fine if the walls weren't right next to each other, but it's.... noticeable. Apparently I need more layers and my dad has a brush order I did not follow. It's like PEMDAS for painting, there's an order of operations and hierarchy that I didn't know.

Our new house is on Citrus Ave, so the house mascot is the Disney Little Orange Bird. So I'll be painting hidden Little Orange Birds in the house, on the mailbox and on the house.

It'll either be cute or garish. Only one way to find out.

Also it's coming up on my fourth wedding anniversary. Can you believe someone has put up with my nonsense for 10 years, legally binding themselves to me for four? I can't... I also thought I'd be dead by 30 though, and I'm turning 37 in a couple months. So I guess my expectations for life have all been exceeded and I look mostly alive.

Padfoots Periodicals / Pals

The pawrents are super stressed and keep taking us to this weird empty place. It smells funny but it's quiet and great for nappies. The yard came with running plushies for us to chase and yell at and they haven't figured out we ownz it yet. They stoopid outa shape, one fell off da fence.

As we laugh at da dumb squirrels, I wants to reminds eberyone to be kind to each other. This timez of every four years is the worst because it showz the worst in humans. Dayz doing a fight ober people who's really don'ts eber going to be there when you are sad or hurting. Don't let that hate become who you are. Don't followz anyone so blindly that you stomps on your neighbors and family.

Wez needs loves. Not these hates speeches like Staind gave at the concert. Lubs is what will save us.

Wez all lubs all ub you.

Keep being pawsome, Please!

Lub, Da Padfoot (& CEO Perry)

We also got some palz because Editor Lady hussled some from new readerz in her 'hood.

Angela Shared Cash, Ruby and Ollie with us!​
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And this is my fur nephews: Apocalypse "Pocky" and Charlie!

Derp Dogs forever!

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