Happy American Thanksgiving, Reader!

Gobble, gobble, my brain is struggling to hobble. This month started off with hope, crashed and burned and now... here we are. Preparing for a day of gluttony and then a month of mass consumerism. I've recently struggled with Thanksgiving since it feels kind of like celebrating the slaughter of Native Americans with the insurgence of British imperialists. Even if that's not what it's about anymore, it is how it began.

Yet another American tradition and reminder that we're a people full of hate. As you can see, this newsletter is going to be super fun and lighthearted. 😂🤣😂 Ugh... the melancholy is heavy. Anyway....

My name is Noelle, and I'm an author... I'm also a wine guide and a City Government worker in Idaho where I'm reminded daily I do not belong. Perry is my CEO and she's a German Shepherd. Padfoot is CCO and he's a Pitbull Husky mix.

My husband is a ginger and has no official role in our organization but unofficially he's like that person in the office who makes sure there's always coffee and snacks but nobody pays him or learned his name (it's Michael).

Thank you for joining this newsletter, however you found it! You can unsubscribe any time you like. Many got here downloading a copy of A Bite in Afghanistan from a Newsletter promo but if you still need a copy, let me know! I'll send you a link to download from BookFunnel and import into Kindle or your favorite eReader app. Amazon made it un-free again... I'm too tired to fight them anymore. Please just tell all your friends to come to me if they'd like to read it for free, it was never meant to cost money.

I write as E. N. Crane and Noelle Rider. All my books are centered around the bond between women and their dog. The women are plus-sized, caffeine addicted and usually awkward in social situations... which also describes me, so welcome to feeling constantly uncomfortable in your own skin. My humor is a combo of gallows and childish "that's what she said" with a sprinkling of science and healthy dose of sass. Interested in Mystery- Get started with Book 1, Barking for Business or pick up where you last left off in the series!

If you live in the US or Canada and want to buy signed copies of Book 1-7, I have 4 complete sets available to mail out! And since I'll be in Canada next week, I should be able to mail it in Canada and let you do the free shipping (though you will have to wait on it being shipped until I get there). Is mailing stuff in Canada hard? Are post offices the same? Someone help me! I've never been to a Canadian post office, but your gravy fries are delicious.

Need a completed Trilogy where the bad guys lose and a lot of people end up bloodied and murdered? Check out my thriller trilogy: The Ampersand Trilogy. It's available on KU and has a lot of very dark themes but no trigger warnings because I didn't know those were a thing, but it's a thriller, so... disturbing and potentially gory?

Check Out Both Series on my Website!

Huge fan of romance with magical elements? Witching and Scheming eBook is on KU and Amazon, as is Pumpkin Spice which has more realistic magic, like setting intentions and whatnot. Pumpkin Spice is also the only book I've written in 3rd person and I'm still not certain if I should take it down or leave it be.

I have paperback copies of Witching and Scheming LIVE on my Website (finally!). They are leftover from an in-person event I did earlier this month at the Library! (<- exclamation point is crucial) for their annual Book Faire.

Shop all Paperbacks!

Not sure what's going on yet? Neither am I! But this newsletter will show up periodically with pet pics, updates on my books, my life and super fun facts from Chief Communications Officer, Padfoot!

Breaking News: Jumping Judiciary Corruption

After wading through names and noodling around with whether or not the last word HAD to start with a J or if it could be injustice, I have decided the name shall be, Jumping Judiciary Corruption! Don't ask me how high the corruption goes if you don't want an honest answer, but lets just hope Winnie can jump that high.

Also, judiciary reminds me of Legally Blonde where she's says "Like, evidentiary support". Also fiduciary, which I know relates to money but sounds like fellatio and... I'm just going to stop now. If you don't know where I'm going, I envy your un-corrupted mind.

The winner of the name choice is Angela! Who threw so many ideas and alliterations at me that I couldn't stop noodling until the book had a name. In a few weeks, she should have a cover and I can begin writing! Why couldn't I begin writing before now? Because I didn't know what to save the file as. Is that an excuse to procrastinate even though, for once in my life, I've outlined almost the whole plot, yes!

Anyway, THANK YOU to everyone who helped and participated. It's harder to keep coming up with these than I thought it would be. Next we have to decide if K should be Kicking, Kissing or some other dog themed verb that starts with a K that I haven't thought of yet. Feel free to send me pet pics and K verbs (not to be confused with K-pop which I think I like but I can't be sure at the moment because my brain is toast)

Personally...

I'm going to the last day of The Era's Tour!!!

Yes, I bought tickets in November 2023 and now I get to be at the last night of the last stop of a two-year tour. I'm so excited and it's one of the most awesome presents I've ever gotten myself. I made my husband a shirt modeled after the 22 shirt from the show and I can't wait to be there. It will be us and my sister, I'll be Folklore-y and she will be Swifite and all of us will be happy (except maybe Michael who has to not lose two 30 year old women and cater to our whims...)

Thinking about this concert has been giving me life when it feels like all that's left is hate.

Swifites at least are all about that love. Yeah, I know, she's a huge superstar with money and a lot of her special editions feel like money grabs- aka capitalism at its worst. But that's not what the experience and the music is like. Being there is like being part of a community where everyone speaks the same language.

After the concert... I'll still have dogs. So survival is likely. Please send more pet pics, we need them!

Speaking of, November 10th was Perry's 5th Adoptiversary! My parents sent her all her favorite toys, we got her a cake, and then we went to play Chuckit in the park.