Happy Taco Tuesday, Reader!

Howdy readers new and old!

Thank you for joining this newsletter, however you found it! You can unsubscribe any time you like! Most of you got on this list downloading the Prequel to the Sharp Investigations series OR my newest readers from downloading Without Intention. But if you haven't received A Bite in Afghanistan yet, hit reply and let me know. I'll send you your own special link (or you can download it for free on Amazon if you live in 'merica... and yes, I meant that sarcastically)!

My name is Noelle, and I'm an author... Not a super popular one, but I have books and I've been told they're good. By my mom... and my mother-in-law... and my adopted mother... so at least 3 people like them. *pats self on back*

I write as E N Crane and Noelle Rider. All my books are centered around the bond between women and their dog. The women are plus-sized, caffeine addicted and usually awkward in social situations... which also describes me, so welcome to feeling constantly uncomfortable in your own skin. My humor is a combo of gallows and childish "that's what she said" with a sprinkling of science and healthy dose of sass. Interested in Mystery- Get started with Book 1, Barking for Business or pick up where you last left off in the series!

In love with Thrillers that have questionable plot structures? Ampersand Trilogy is in KU! Should it come down? Probably. Will it? Unlikely. Though like the proverbial first pancake throw away, it is not the cleanest work, it holds an everlasting place in my heart as a reminder that even in the darkest depressions, you can still do something extraordinary. Many of you already have the first book in the trilogy, but if you haven't started yet, I have to warn you: they are not meant to stand alone. I thought I wrote them that way, but no.

Not sure what's going on yet? Neither am I! But this newsletter will show up periodically with pet pics, updates on my books, my life and super fun facts from Chief Communications Officer, Padfoot!

Breaking News: Witching and Scheming is Back (kind of...) and I have MERCH!

OK, Witching and Scheming got her re-write addressing all the unhappy reviews on the internet (the... 3 of them). I think I expanded on the unclear parts and reduced the clutter some. The character has a pretty cluttered mind, but I tried to keep some of it to herself. LOL. So, she's back up and I'm hoping the four people who asked to review the new version let me know what they think so my anxiety can calm down.

UNFORTUNATELY! I'm having problems with Amazon. Though I deleted my old copy and re-purchased the new one, I was sent the old version. I also purchased the paperback as a customer and got a messed up cover copy. They're saying it's possible it was a return, but I'm not really sure how they are allowed to re-sell it to me at full price and not pay me royalties if it was returned with a messed up cover... They are still "looking into" both situations.

I was able to update my mom / editor's copy of the book by removing the download, removing it from her home screen, removing the furthest page read from her Amazon account, closing out of the app, re-opening, and then downloading the book again. That did not work for another reader who contacted me. Amazon said they would push the book out to those who already own it, but I still haven't received anything. So... if you bought it and you don't have the new version, send me a screen shot of the book in your Kindle library (Cover Page) and the email you'd like the book sent to and I'll send you an updated one through Book Funnel.

In case it wasn't obvious, Amazon is the worst. But if you have Kindle Unlimited- read it risk free! You'll know if you have the right version if the cover page contains a little note beneath A O Neal that says "This is the updated version..." Because I'm super original.

If you want a paperback, please wait until I can confirm they won't send you an old one. It may come down to you have to purchase it from my website or assigning a new ISBN. I'm waiting on a proof from Ingram and if that looks good I'll get a small stock for signed copies and then see if I can figure out their whole print on demand eCommerce for those who don't want my signature.... which brings me tooooo....

I MADE BOOKISH MERCH!

It's print on demand through Printful and features the character art I made for Cyn Sharp and the original art by Kaci for Witching and Scheming!

Personally...

Well, I tore another ankle tendon. So... I can't really walk. I spend all my time icing, elevating and fighting the urge to cry. Also, once a month, I stab myself in the stomach with a needle to hopefully bring my weight down enough to stop the pain. I don’t hate my body, there’s nothing wrong with being larger, but I have hyper mobility and apparently if you put too much weight on a rubber band, it snaps.

Honestly, I've never been in so much pain and been informed there was nothing to be done. I just go to Physical Therapy, Chiropractic and pretend I'm not shoving down my agony.

Also, I've been reading a lot Alina Jacobs, rewatching Big Bang Theory, and we made an offer on a house that was accepted and started the whole process of buying our first home.

They use a lot of terminology that makes me feel dumb... and a lot of numbers that make me feel poor.
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But these kids deserve a house and moving closer to work means more time with them. Theoretically also more time to write, read, and wonder where I went wrong.
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We also saw Lindsey Stirling and it was epic.

Padfoots Periodicals / Pals

I’m so gladz my book is back up! Alzo that I’m on the cover of Without Direction.
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A few weeks ago we was back home in Santa Clarita and stopped at Manzanar on the way back. HuMom read Farewell to Manzanar im school and parts of the book have lingered for years. Walking around and seeing it just madez the whole thing more real. And more depressing.
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The human capacity for fear and hate is crushing. Not like us doggos.
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Wez don’t have any palz to share because… humom hasn’t sent newsletters in a long time and no one sendz us any anymore. ☹ Please send your pals! Or all you’ll see is me and Perry. Humom iz da worst, Padfoot is da best, and Perry haz all the toofers.

Lub, Da Padfoot (& CEO Perry)